Day 5: Close Encounters of the Contaminated Kind

Dawn comes to Cyrodiil, greeted by the chirping of songbirds and the crow of the rooster. A warm breeze blows through the window and Sharlassa breathes a contented sigh as she stirs in her bed. What a perfect way to start a day!

And then I open my eyes and remember my plight. Buggers. I'm on the run from psycho-killer-whore-thieves. No bed will be safe for long. I'm a fugitive, on the run from, er... injustice. And adventure. That's even worse. As an old philosopher once asked, "Which is better: to suffer an injustice, or to commit an adventure?" Well, if I don't get outta Dodge, I'm going to be suffering and committing. So I pack my things into my invisible extra-dimensional backpack.

It's 5:30am on the 31st of Last Seed, day 5 of my non-adventure, and I celebrate the blessings and not-quite-curses that life brings by enjoying a light breakfast of apple and cheese while I plan my route for the day.

Hmm... there seems to be a suspiciously large hole in my map north of the Brina Cross. What lies in that unmarked territory? Is it a mountainous paradise? Or perhaps a rugged wasteland? Is it miles of nothing but boredom and walking, or it filled with tedious adventure after sodding adventure? I dunno, but I've decided that's where I'm going. I gots to get my run on after all, lest I get caught by psycho-killer-whore-thief-gangsters (hmm... ever time I think of them a new colorful description pops into my head, and it's a bit longer than the last one).

Why not head for Kvatch, the city to the east? Well, there's a problem, see. See, Kvatch got destroyed in the main game, see, and there's no way you can see it as a normal town, see. So see, even though I've got a mod that delays the main quest, Kvatch is still designed as a destroyed city, see. See, they put a guard outside the front gate that tells you Kvatch is closed. See?

Besides, I'm a country gal, a hunter, used to roughing it and living off the land. Those hoes chasing me are pretty girls, not up for some serious slogging through the mountains. In a nearby town they might catch me. But in the mountains, the one doing the catching is me. Because I am... a hunter!

Okay, well, a huntress. But you get my point.

I stalk out into County Kvatch, keeping a brisk pace but still stopping to grab a pretty flower or two. For potions, I mean. I'm a huntrer... -ess. I'm not into the the whole "Ooo, a pretty flower! *melt*" thing. Really.

Pretty soon I'm welcoming the sight of the morning sun as it breaks over Colovia's mountains. Ah!

Oh hey, is that a fort? It's not on my map, so I creep forward to check it out, hopeful that my woman's intuition will divine the name of the ruins.

Hey, I think there's someone living here! I can tell by the fact they're shooting arrows at me. I turn to run, but an armored archer lady comes bursting out of the underbrush. Not one to be shown up by another chick, I draw my sword and slash at her until the falls.

In accordance with my religion, I strip her of her clothes and repair hammer, though I leave her noisy iron armor for a non-sneaky, non-hunter scavenger to take.

Even without taking on her armor, though, I'm feeling a bit... heavy. Hmm... why can't I move?

Woah, I've got some serious diseases going on after that fight. Rattles, my intuition tells me, and Colleywobbles. What the hell, man! I've been given a disease by some chick I don't even know! That's one of those things you think only happens to other people, but after a night of hitting the bar and buying drinks for the hottie next to you, you wake in with a horrid hangover and a note on your pillow saying you should probably get yourself to the clinic... I swear, though, I'm not into chicks. Didn't you see me checking out the sailors?

However this happened, there's only one thing I can do to cure it. Okay, well, there's several. But there's one I can do right now that's quick and painless. I hunt through my pack until I find some mandrake root. I've been picking this stuff all over, and its first property is Cure Disease. A few bites and I'm starting to feel better already. Good thing I had this, or I might've had to spend most of my blog hunting for ingredients for a Cure Disease potion, and no one likes a copycat.

Anyway, now disease-free, I creep towards the tower again, determined to learn its name before... great, now an armored orc chick is running to greet me, too. She's probably just as diseased ridden as her butch forester friend that attacked me. I fill one hand with mandrake root and the other with my sword. Die diseased ho!

Faster than I can take a screenshot, she cuts my health in half. Yipes! This is not the diseased ho I'm looking for. I perceive I have a choice. Run, or... well, okay, there's not really any other option.

Ha, check this out. I'm going to run and chug a coupla health potions. Even in her armor, the orc's faster than me, so my alchemy skill is the only thing keeping me alive as she hacks at my back. I chug away until I think I can turn around and face her with full reserves. It's a one in a million chance, but it just might work.

Fortunately, one in a million chances work out nine times out of ten. My skillful use of potions and poisons keeps me healthy while keeping her dead. That settled, I munch on some mandrake root to get her germs outta my system. Then... I get religious.

Booyah! Who's the kick-ass warrior now? Me, sister! I'm a lean, mean, green-fighting machi... damn, that hat is ugly.

Okay, that's better.

Booyah! Who's the kick-ass warrior now? Me, sister! I'm a lean, mean, green-fighting machine. Bring on your diseased butch orcs and your psycho-killer-whore-thief-gangster-wenches. I'm the last thing they'll ever see!

Day 3: Back to the Beach

The next day starts out badly. By which I mean that I mysteriously lose about 20 screenshots, most of them carefully posed (I've learned a thing or two about taking better screenshots since my last post). But I don't sweat it. Nope, Sharlassa gets up at the crack of dawn. Well, before dawn, really. Having gone to bed early, she rises at 3:30 am. The inn is alive even at that late hour, and she spends a relaxing morning drinking ale around the warm fireplace. After a hearty breakfast of cheese, bread, and mutton, she begins her daily wanderings north of Gottshaw Inn.

I wander aimlessly, gathering ingredients as I find them. I'm trying to pick things that I can make into potions now, though, rather than gathering handfuls of whatever I can find. Since my alchemy skill has improved, I'm finding lots of new recipes for potions. The corn and potatoes in my pack, for instance, can be used in Restore Health potions, and the occasional cluster of Lady's Mantle and Aloe Vera go nicely with these. I find some St. John's Wort (good for poisons that damage my quarry's health), but I don't have anything to mix it with, so I hold on to it.

As I wander through the waist-high grass, I spy what looks to be a camp ahead, and the light of a couple of torches glimmer around it. I creep forward, hoping my woman's intuition will spontaneously tell me the name of the encampment. No such luck, though, because a boar rushes at me through the grass. I backpedal madly, trying to fend the beast off with my dagger. I'm knocked off my feet by an arrow that thuds into my shoulder. Yargh! I'm bein' attacked by boars and bandits at the same time!

A couple of well placed fireballs and powerful attacks dispatch the boar, and I leap at the bandit, who's turning me into a pincushion. My health is down to about half, and I'm about to turn and run (which is generally not so effective a strategy against archers) when another boar rushes me. Ye, gods!

Someone must have been listening to my prayers, because the boar comes after the bandit rather than me. I chuck my puny Flare spells at the two, and by the time the bandit falls to the boar's razor sharp tusks, the feral beast so weak that a single thrust of my dagger defeats it. Huzzah!

I'm a religious person, so I decide to honor the gods by stripping the bandit naked and taking her stuff. She's got a good-size quiver of steel arrows to replace my heavy iron ones and a snazzy green shirt and leather bracer that go well with my fur greaves. And... ooo! A shiny necklace! The boars have some excellent hides, and I take some time to saw off their tusks, too. Those should fetch a good price!

I briefly consider assaulting the bandit's camp. After all, if they're as rich as this one, I could make a good haul today. But that's not what we NPCs do. We don't go looking for fights, especially when all the fights we have been in so far have left us dangerously close to ending the blogs about our lives. Oh, and I count four torches moving around the camp. Nope, I decide to take a wide circle around the camp, avoiding the sight of its keepers as best I can.

An hour's walk west brings me to a large estate with plenty of crops around. There's also plenty of servants. One of them, a surly Nord named Bjorn the Basher, fixes up all my damaged equipment for a modest fee. I want to change into my now repaired furs, but there's no privacy around. Instead, I wander the estate, which my womanly knowledge tells me belongs to a Lord Drad. A bit of curiosity leads me to a familiar face. It's Geontene, the mage who bought all my loot! I tell him about my battles and he tries giving me some advice:

I also purchase a couple of spells from him. One is a healing spell that's a bit stronger than the weak one I already use, and the other buffs my health. They're expensive, but I think thy'll increase my survivability if I run into bandits again.

I have fun chatting with the locals, all of whom urge me to join the Fighter's Guild. Man, I must really look the part. But no, no fighting for me, thank you. I'd rather live my life in peace.

At last it's time to continue my wandering. There's a woman named Nilin heading out into the woods, and I decide to follow here. I make that decision based on the fact that she has a guard dog and a huge honking battle axe. The more protection the merrier!

After a while, Nilin turns around to head back to Lord Drad's Estate. Having just been there a half hour ago, I decide not to keep following her and continue my course westward. I can hear the surf pounding the beach ahead, so I follow my ears, moving silently through the grass just in case I should find any furry animals to shoot. As I slip over the crest of the hill, though, I see what looks to be the burned out ruins of a town.

Curiosity gets the better of me, and I head down the hill to investigate, keeping my hunter's eyes peeled and looking for any movement that might indicate danger. I don't see much, though, except for charred timber. There's not so much as a barrel to root through. I suppose that's good, though. After all, I wouldn't want to loot more ruins and break my code of non-adventuring.

Still, I'm somewhat disappointed as I begin to head south along the beach. Just outside of the ruins, however, I see something that makes my day. Oysters!

A few minutes of swimming later and I find what I'm looking for:

My swimming nets me 15 pearls, as well as some Sacred Lotus Seeds. I examine their properties and find they can be combined with my St. John's Wort to produce Damage Health poisons, so I whip some up. Those should give me an edge in any battles I might be thrust into.

While I'm working on my alchemy, I hear some chittering behind me. The oyster-filled pool has spawned mud crabs. And dreughs. Hordes of them! I get in some practice with my trusty dagger...

...and blast a few with clumsily flung Flare spells.

I crack some of the crabs open to pry out their tasty meat. A few contain more than just meat, though:

Okay, the fork I can understand. Some dude thought he'd killed the crab, popped it open, and started eating the meat. Only it wasn't dead, so it crawled off, fork still inside, and healed up. Okay, I can buy that. But the lockpick?

Some more exploring shows me the wreckage of a few ships.

I consider swimming down to see if there's anything valuable inside, but I decide against it. Diving for pearls is one thing. You can surface for air quickly. I can't breathe underwater, though, and I don't want to get caught inside a sunken ship. I leave the ship and head south down the coast.

Before long I encounter another shipwreck, but this one is mostly above water. I decide to board it and see what's below. After all, I'm not superstitious about ghost ships. Umm... right?

Turns out the bigger thing to worry about is the smell. The corpse of what appears to have been the captain of this vessel is thrown against the hull, and the hot sun of the Abeccean Sea has turned this ship into an oven. Phew! I do manage to recover a few books and some food, and when I search the captain's body I find a wealth of gold coins, gems, some fine boots, and a seaman's cutlass.

Excited about my finds, I head to the lower deck. There's more flooding going on here, and it's a bit harder to move around since there's furniture blocking the doorways. I don't really want to hang around here too long, though. The corpse pinned to the wall with a cutlass has something to do with that. He died with his eyes open, and they just stare at me lifelessly. Ugh.

As the chills run down my spine, I strip another corpse of its belongings, then shimmy back up the ladder to leave the ship.

Hey, how do I look in my corpse clothes?

I spy some mud crabs ahead and decide to use this as a chance to test out my new cutlass. Have at thee, crabs!

I find a cave inside the stump of a driftwood tree. I decide to call it Treestump Cave in honor of the obvious. Treestump Cave is locked, though, and I don't want to spend my crab-pick trying to enter.

Having had enough pretending to be a pirate for one day, I change back itno my furs and begin the trek southward again.

Near some Ayleid ruins (Garlas Malatar, which I discovered on Day 1), I snipe some slaughterfish from the shore. They, like the mud crabs, eat interesting things:

I know this area. At least, I think do. I came this way up the Gold Coast my first day, but things look different now. Whatever the reason, I'm glad to be exploring it again. I'm seeing new things. Like that ruined lighthouse.

I check it out. There's not much to find, save for an old corpse dashed by rocks. Nearby I find what appears to be his tattered journal. It confirms my suspicions. This was indeed and old lighthouse, but it was destroyed when its fire leapt out of control. Apparently, that's what caused the many shipwrecks at the burnt-out village, which the journal identifies as Oyster Bay.

I poke around the tower for a bit, but accidentally fall off into the ocean below. Gah! The water is pretty shallow, so it doesn't break my fall. Instead, I crack my ankle on the rocks below. My health falls down below half, and I pull myself from the waves onto the nearby beach in hopes that I can cast my healing spells to fix my leg. Of course, something is waiting for me.

Even in my weakened state, I manage to kill the dreugh quickly. After I heal a bit, I gingerly walk around the little beach. Ooo... there's a Nirnroot. And another. Oh, and another. I suppose this was a worthwhile injury. I begin the swim towards the shore, but take a quick dive when spot a sunken chest below. I recover a few gold coins from it, but the real treasure is an alembic which I can use to improve my potions. Hah!

As I continue south I finally spot Anvil's harbor in the distance. Now there's a welcome sight! It's getting late in the afternoon, so I hurry toward the docks, eager to sell my finds before the shops close for the night.

I manage to sell off the jewels, pearls, animal bits, and my slaughterfish plate at Norbert Lelles' Merchandise, then head to the Flowing Bowl to buy all the corn and potatoes that I can. I'll turn those into Restore Health potions tomorrow. When it's all said and done, I'm sitting on over 1,700 septims. Not bad for a day's work! To celebrate, I sit on the docks and talk with a beggar named Imus the Dull. Sadly, he lives up to his name. The conversation is rather poor, so I spend my time checking out the shirtless sailors.

Whoa! I'm a guy playing a chick who likes guys. Is... is that role-playing? It just might be. Lookit me, ma! I'm role-playing!

(Aside: Why do so many male gamers who decide to play chicks make them into lesbians? Is it because gamers are acting out fantasies? Or is it because they're too uncomfortable role-playing liking their own sex? It doesn't make you gay to play a straight chick, does it?)

After a while, the sailors start heading to the Black Flag tavern, so I follow Maybe it's the cutlass hanging off my belt, or maybe it's the coin jingling in my pocket; whatever the reason, the pirates save me a seat at their table. I feast on boar meat, cheese, and ale, and the party goes on into the night. To life in Cyrodiil!