Day 4: Adventures in Anvil (Curses!)

Anvil is a great town. It's big enough to serve my needs, yet its pace is slow and quiet. It's slightly seedy, but not a slum. I can walk the warm beaches of the Gold Coast without fear of adventure, and there's plenty of pickings for my alchemy. The people... well, I haven't talked much to the people. I should do that. But I'm sure they're nice, too.

I've begun to make a small fortune, and I've got it in my mind to see what a house goes for around here. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind staying at the Black Flag, but it'd be nice to be able to decorate a room or two, have a place to display my crab fork, and so on. I've found bushels of food in my travels, and I could stock a pantry with enough food 'til doomsday if I wanted. Yeah, I think I'll make some inquiries today.

First, though, it's time to level up. I suppose it's due to all the potion mixing and mud crab bashing.

I decide to boost Intelligence (good for alchemy and fireballs), Agility (sneaking and archery), and Endurance (staying alive). Though I would have gotten a sizable bonus to Personality had I chosen to boost that (presumably due to all my chatting with merchants), I forgo it in favor of the things that will make me rich and alive.

After a breakfast of a whole watermelon, I dress in my town duds and hit the streets in hopes of getting to know the people of Anvil. I've chatted with a few of them, but usually only because I wanted to catch some gossip or get a good deal on something. Now I'm going to really take an interest in people. After all, these might be my new neighbors.

As a grubby fellow named Wilhelm the Worm informs me, the people of Anvil are quite nice. The sailors are all willing to quit whatever busy work they're doing to talk to me, though it may be on account of I'm a woman. Just to be sure they're not taking my admiring for flirting, I'm sure to throw in some boasts, jokes, and coercion. Though I smack any wayward hands, I still manage to have everyone greet me with a smile. I'm learning something about getting along with people, it would seem.

I'm feeling very neighborly now. Almost neighborly enough to help a self-pitying merchant:

Sure, I'll... wait. Nope. No, no. I know my last experience with ghost ships turned out to be profitable and adventure-free. But now the game's playing on that to drag me into adventure. I mean, if someone's actually telling me they need me to defeat some spirits and recover some talisman... I mean, that reeks of adventure. Nope, sorry. You can do that on your own.

Rather than getting caught up in exploring a ghost-filled ship, I choose to visit the lighthouse overlooking Anvil's harbor. Lighthouse is right. There's a nice little home situated at the base of the spire. It's unlocked, so I head inside to poke around. The owner's asleep, so I leer at the back of his head.

He must feel my stares because after a while he wakes up and strikes up a friendly chat. And why not? No one ever gets mad when you barge into their homes uninvited and wake them up, right? Turns out his name's Ulfgar Fog-Eye. After a bit of joking and admiring, followed closely by some boasting and coercing, I ask if he's got any jobs available. After all, a steady income would go a long way towards helping me afford a house. Turns out he has something for me:

It pays with a room rather than money, though. Free room for one night of work a week? Sounds like a steal. Still, I don't want to commit to anything just yet. That, and I'm not sure I wanna shack up with some dude I only met today. I tell him I'll think about it.

Barging in to one fellow's house worked so well, I decide to try it some more:

I happen upon the house of Gogan and Maelona, a Redguard couple. I go to chat with them when Maelona asks for my help. Uh-oh. Quest alert! Next thing you know she's going to ask me to retrieve some ancient talisman from a ghost ship, right? Close. She needs me to retrieve a ring that was taken by some thieves. Uh-huh. No way. I smell adventure. No thank you. I turn to leave, but Maelona continues with her sob story. Well, not a sob story, really. It's kind of funny, when you get down to it.

Gogan, it seems, fell victim to the schemes of a gang of thieves. An all-female gang. See, they go into bars and seduce men, leading them out of the city where they rob them. Gogan, the cheating bastard that he apparently is, got suckered into this. He lost a ring given to him by his mother-in-law on their wedding day (they being Gogan and Maelona, not Gogan and his mother-in-law; that would just be weird). So on top of not getting any action, Gogan got robbed, stripped naked, and sent back to an angry wife. Girl power! Hah! Haha! Hahahahaaa!

I laugh hysterically, but sober up when Maelona offers to pay me for the trouble of getting it back. Even though I'm set for weeks... I could always use a little pocket change. And I don't even have to get into any adventure, really. I can just keep an ear out and report anything I find to the guards, right?

Gogan, for a cheating pig, seems genuinely sorry. I agree to do what I can, and Maelona tells me to start at the Flowing Bowl, the restaurant outside the city walls.

A bit hungry, I head to the Count's Arms, the fancy hotel and eatery in town. I'm pretty wealthy, after all, and it won't hurt to eat somewhere other than my budget inn. After a lunch of beef and cheese, I begin to chat with the patrons.

Why yes, I am looking for a house. Only problem is the manor this fellow, Velwyn Benirus, offers me is a little out of my price range. He's asking 5,000 septims, and I only have about 2,000. Oh well. At the rate I'm making money, I should have that in another week, yes? I ask around about Benirus and his manor, and it sounds like a nice place to live. A fixer-upper, maybe? I make a mental note to check it out when I get a little more cash on hand.

The rest of the conversation at the Count's Arms is rather single track.

Sounds like the Fighter's Guild's marketing campaign has been doing wonders. It get annoying to hear people telling me to work for the guild over and over. Finally, I decide to visit the guild just to see what the fuss is about.

It's about what I expected. Not much fighting going on, but there's plenty of folks strolling around in armor with giant weapons. Oh, and hitting things with heavy objects. So, the Fighter's Guild is basically a frat house? Sweet, where's the beer?

Apparently I look like a fighter, because these armor-clad frat boys want me in their club. Get paid to hit things with a stick? How can refuse?

That's how. Adventure? No thanks.

Frustrated at the game's constant attempts to entertain me, I head to Morvayn's Peacekeepers to do some business. I'm going to be heading out to the Gold Coast again before too long, after all, and I want to be well stocked. I sell off all the heavy iron arrows I'm carrying and stock up on steel ones instead. I also grab some repair hammers in case of weapon breakage. Then, hard as it is, I sell that wicked pirate's cutlass. I mean, the thing practically weighs 25 pounds. That's like trying to swing three sledgehammers. So as cool as it is, I'm going to part with it and use my dinky little dagger. In the interests of weight conservation, I also sell off my armor. It's not protecting me much, and it's rather weak in combat. Instead of repairing it constantly, I'll just wear my regular clothes.

After my sales, I ask Morvayn what be with the up:

They most certainly are not talking about that! They're talking about the Fighter's Guild and how they're recruiting and how I should sign up if I've got stones (which I haven't, literally or figuratively).

To ensure people recognize my lack of man bits, I go and buy a skirt. Looks like it's a turn-on for dull old Imus.

For dinner, I head to the Flowing Bowl. I enjoy a little meal of ham, cheese, and grapes while I try to decide who I should speak with to turn up information about the gang that stole Gogan's ring. Turns out I don't have to think long.

A couple of women march in the door and, seeing my new dress, decide I'm too sexy not to spill all their secrets to.

Oh, okay. It seems they want me in their gang. Hmm... nope. In fact, now that they've revealed themselves, I decide to call the guards. Suckaz!

Huh? What? Who was going report you to the guards? Certainly not me. Nope. No way. Never. Uh-uh. Not even remotely in my mind. I mean, maybe if I hadn't just sold my armor and that big-ass pirate sword. But no, not now.

They leave, but I'm faced with a quandary. On the one hand, I can take my chances and tell the guards. Only I don't know who all is in the gang. Even if the guards capture these two, who's to say more wouldn't catch me? On the other hand, I could go to the appointed meeting place and pretend to be in their gang, only to play Judas and take them out once I've assessed their strength. Both of those options sound unduly adventurous. Looks like the only option is the other other hand. Hand three.

I've got to leave Anvil. It was fun while it lasted, but I'm not going to hang around town if there's bloodthirsty killer women after me. If I don't join their gang, they may assume I'm in league with the guards and kill me anyway. Nope, I'm going away for a few days. Let the guards take care of things while I skeedaddle.

I head back to the Black Flag and collect my possessions. Goodbye, Anvil! It was nice knowing you.